Saturday, March 5, 2011

THE TRUTH WITHIN: THE FAMILY

This article continues the discussion of the "truth within" concept as it relates to the family. Listed below is the definition of the idea:
"The idea that the truth lies within each individual is a powerful concept. It means that each individual contains an element of the truth that makes them unique and important. It also demands that each and every person be given a voice and be heard for the whole truth to be understood. Each person contributes a piece and the whole truth cannot be trusted until it can contain the ideas of each and every person involved."

If we apply this concept to the family, it means that there is some truth in the reactions of all family members. This is true from the smallest child to the eldest member, true for a teenager as well as a parent, true for a grandparent as well as an aunt or uncle. The truth is not the sole possession of the parents, but is trusted to the relationships among all the family members. The mutual search for the truth does not mean that the parent abandon their responsibilities to set rules and boundaries for the children and do whatever the child wants. It means that there is an honest process between the parents to do what is reasonable, and to include the child's opinion in determining their final decision. All family members are equal in value but not equal in obligation or role. However, the process of arriving at a decision, if it honors the truth concept, is carried out in way that enables each person to be heard, and their opinion addressed. It is not dismissed as meaningless because it comes "out of the mouth of babes." Decisions are not made hastily or arbitrarily. They are made between the parents after discussion with the children to get their input. Dialogue is encouraged and the value of opinions and perceptions is validated.

This concept is radically different from the traditional view of the proper role of the child within the family. Obedience rather than truth is given the highest value in the traditional family. Children are considered good if they " do as they are told." Encouraging children to voice their opinion is seen as breeding anarchy and no respect for authority. Getting the opinion of a child is viewed as confusing the child and condoning breaking the rules. Good behavior is the goal regardless of why the child is being good.

If the family properly applies the truth concept, then the children raised in that environment will have less anxiety than children raised in a more traditional setting. Reasonable rules will prevail, with the weaknesses of each parent buffered by the input of all members. The reactions of the Natural Self will be consistent with the Family Self, reducing the anxiety that occurs as a result of the internal clash between the two systems.




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